Friday 25 June 2010

These are a few of my favourite things...

Today is the last day of my six month long final sem internship. It was real, and good, and now it’s another phase of my life coming to an end. As I said to all my team members, this is just the end of the beginning.

Now the point of this post being, I have coffee. Innumerable cups have found their way into my system in these past months. One regular thing has been a cup of cappuccino/latte/mocha sometime between 3 and 4 from the CCD in the café. Every single day. For me, it’s like therapy, it keeps me going. On some days, I even argue about the differences between cappuccino and latte and berate them for having stopped making coffee-toffee (I’ve been a CCD regular for almost two years now).

Today, when I was asked to swipe my card, I couldn’t (the day being my last, I had to submit it). The dude who serves me coffee and usually just acknowledges me with a smile asked “Aap jaa rahe ho?”

“Yes”, I replied. "It’s my last day". For dramatic effect, I paused, and continued “I’ll be back on the first”.

“Here only? Aapki job lag gayi?”


“Fir toh aaj aapki coffee free”.

He made me a beautiful large cup of mocha with a smile on his face. The other guy ventured into asking me where I was from and promptly added that I looked Bengali. They both congratulated me. It was a very little thing, a cup of on-the-house coffee. But it warmed me right to the core and for a long long time, I will remember the smiles on their faces as synonymous with the smile in my heart on the successful finish of this internship.

Thursday 24 June 2010

To Manipal - II

There are songs that, in my head, will always mean Manipal. Songs, that have been frozen to certain places, certain minutes… and every time I hear one of those songs again, I am transported back into those moments.

Leaving on a Jet Plane – John Denver: Practicingfor Paroxym Oct, 06, having mass-bunked BE (Sid, Soumitro, Nupur, Ronnie, Mridu)

Zombie – Cranberries: Meeting Anamol for the first time, singing at Revels Audition March, 07

Annie’s song – John Denver: singing along with Neelav, Anamol, and Fern… walking back to college from behind the Archi building

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls: Singing with Neelav on the bike, on some road around Badagabettu Oct, 09

November Rain - Guns 'n' Roses: Souvik. Forever. And the chats...

Broken – Seether & Amy Lee: Performing at Campus 18 (seeing Vishal, Sujata, Dhruv in the crowd) Jan, 08

Rocking in the Free World – Neil Young: Classic # performing at Edge Mar, 09

Smoke on the Water – Deep Purple: Being the groupie while Anamol, Devdutt, Dube, and Navneet practiced Feb, 09

Blurry - Puddle of Mudd: Sahil's endless attempts at cheering me up

Sultans of Swing – Dire Straits: CRI, Revels Jan, 09

Teenage Wasteland - The Who: Nupur & I, laughing out heads off, at the video

Shine on you Crazy Diamond – Pink Floyd: Cool Beans, Anamol and Pratik Oct, 09

Nothing Else Matters – Metallica: Ishi’s party at DeeTee Mar, 08

Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd: Utsav in Apr, 07

More Than a Woman - Bee Gees: Endless chats with Srini across rising nights and setting days

Across the Universe - The Beatles: Singing, in perfect harmony, with Pratik and Anamol at the Lake Mar,10

She will be Loved - Maroon5: Walking to and from Railway Bridge for the first time, Chocolate Soldier at Planet Cafe Mar, 08

In the End – Linkin’ Park: The whole LnD party singing, Ishaan being pissed off Mar, 08

Rise Up - Yves LaRock: Class party Aug, 08. Dancing with so many people

Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing – Aerosmith: Singing with Lester, Sep 06

Bleecker Street – Simon & Garfunkel: Nupur and talking to her… night-after-night

Hunter – Dido: Swapnil always wanted the song playing on my comp, whenever she was in the room

Violet Hill – Coldplay: Vasuki and I, at Hill-top, getting wet in the rain Aug, 08

These songs are related to so many myriad emotions, so many smiles, so many thoughts. There are people who I will probably never be close to, again, ever. They have moved on, and so have I. But then, there are the songs, and while it lasted, it was a pleasure.

Wednesday 23 June 2010


In nihilism and pain,
Your eyes, vacant,
Judging, asking questions,
But not listening to replies
Flung across meetings.
Tonight, my love,
Let me explain what,
Even you sometimes miss.
Of pain and prayer,
Have you heard?
Have you heard salvation
In my words?
Today, my love,
As evening melts, as
You fall silent and brooding,
Let me love you
Once more
As I always have...

Monday 21 June 2010

I have to pack. Again. I have to shift. Again. I have to see my life bottled up into 4-5 suitcases, things without an independent entity. Then there is the hauling up, the lugging around and finally the dilemma of what to put where in the new room... and trying to make it mine, knowing that one day, I'll leave again. I have to shift... and I'm so tired...

Monday 14 June 2010

To Manipal - I

There is a curious emptiness in me - the kind that seeps through all my thoughts and encompasses everything in numbness. My college life is about to come to an end… and it doesn’t seem true.

Four years is a long time, four years ago I didn’t believe it would end so soon. I know that with time, these emotions too, like many others, will fade. I won’t remember the colour of the walls or the graffiti on so many. I will not remember the taste of a lot of the food or the feeling on a lot of different occasions.

I’m scared. I’m scared that there are too many things I will forget, too many people who I will lose touch with, and their faces will blend into oblivion. I’m scared that somehow that’ll leave me less of a person, it being almost an obligation to remember. There are these random people who I met every day, we had so much fun. I will miss sitting in the canteen, bunking classes and having ice-cream for lunch and chatting with a sea of people knowing this would never end.

Life now will be lonely. It will never be the same or even close. There will never be so many people in touching distance who care so much that it hurts. There will never be the time and the spontaneity to catch a sunset on the beach or a trip into the woods. There will never be such revelry, such wonderful celebration of life… And yes, I will be less of a person because life will never be Manipal again…

Tuesday 8 June 2010

Big City Pulse

In mauve and pink,
The sky is setting, tonight
Into another morbid

In vivid, green and magenta,
Mushroom colours, a nighttime saga
Of cocktail parties and Marlboro lights.

People run into other people
And voices cut one another
Like fighting kites
On a sunny afternoon.

Like today’s past,
Except that such a sun
Now mourns for waters;
Inky for mauve
And trading blue for pink.

Thursday 3 June 2010

Since you left

I thought I would never write again.
When you left, I was standing in a stupid drizzle,
When drops stayed on my hair like moon-pearls,
Distinct, unreal.

They said sometimes,
You have the words, the love of a beautiful woman.
Made beautiful by the timelessness
Of your thoughts.
When the clammy air swirled around me,
You left.
And I thought nothing would ever rhyme again.

Futile, faithless
Like enormous clouds of moisture-dust,
Life is a severed sky,
And nothing, since you left, has rhymed.